The sudden Power surge within me

When you become honest, You feel tremendous power, and even more powerful when you are honest with your loved ones. But really this isn't much about the power that i felt, rather it's about my emotions, again. Here it goes :
       The thousand Emotions still burn the same, Even more Violently now. From anger to Helplessness, From Sorrow to willingness to hurt. From happiness to fits of Madness, desperation, From Love to Hatred, the emotions change at the blink of an eye, Hurting people around me and myself. Blankly giving into all of my feelings, caged by my own thoughts, I had lost control over myself. Inspite of saying, I'll build a new self, I have failed. And that too very badly, as I went even  more back in time, instead of creating an new self, I just remembered an older self of mine. I am lying to myself it seems. Don't know about what but something is just not right. No matter what I do, I just come back to that filthy state of my existence. Even after all this struggle, after all this pain and suffering. I still lack knowledge. I still don't know what I want, What is Important and what is not. But I do have faith, One day, I shall reveal the secrets that hinder my development. For the pain that I took and the pain that I inflicted on others  shall not go in vain. I shall learn from my mistakes. Things change, nothing stays the same, but I guess somethings do stay the same, like friendship. And that's a paradox. a self contradictory concept. like War is Peace. as we know, war is equivalent to mass destruction for almost nothing. and peace on the other hand is an entirely different concept. On the contrary there are statements that convey a simpler meaning Like "when rich wage war, It's the poor who DIE".
The point is Truthfulness and positivity are really important. Have fun guys !

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